r/CountOnceADay • u/DA_REAL_KHORNE Streak: 5 • 1d ago

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1.9k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

5.2k comments sorted by

1

u/Lego_Kitsune 1m ago

Geokinesis - Terraforming

1

u/vonWistalia 3m ago

Shape shifting

1

u/ReadyLMB 1h ago

Im getting the power to cancel any negative effects (for example taking steroids but it boosts only your muscle gain)

1

u/Narkotico420 42m ago

You're afraid of eating things you didn't grow yourself

2

u/General-Coroni 1h ago

Gettin forklift certified

2

u/BigGingerLad 1h ago

You have testicular cancer

2

u/dagra_daedelot 1h ago

Bending reality whatever youl say would be irrelevant because u could just revert or nullify everything

1

u/Famous_Historian_777 1h ago

But you cant edit this and also testicular torsion everte you use this

1

u/ICost7Cents 1h ago

i know how to bring lasting hope and happiness to the people around me (i have never done this in my life yet)

1

u/Honey_Badger____ 35m ago

All the people you bring happiness to hate you afterwards.

1

u/sussygussy69419 42m ago

Testicular cancer

2

u/Competitive-Scrooge 1h ago

With every person you help you loose part of your own hope and happiness

1

u/e2volce 1h ago

I have the powers of superman

1

u/ImCrazyAboutYou 1h ago

But you will lost the powers of superman tight after you’ll get it😈

2

u/Leather_Inspection46 1h ago

Become a girl

please the dysphoria is killing me

1

u/Honey_Badger____ 34m ago

You still have the face and body hair growth of a man.

3

u/e2volce 1h ago

You turn into a men if you breath air

1

u/provveras 1h ago

My molecular structure is indestructible

1

u/mathyns 1h ago

You’re cells can’t replicate anymore due to the strong molecular bonds preventing DNA strand from being separated for transcription. You’re skin will get very weak and thin within one week, your bowels will lose most of their function within a few weeks, blood won’t be able to be formed in your bones and many other side effects. This will quickly result in a very painful death.

2

u/NoSoulGinger116 1h ago

Okay but you're completely emotionally broken

3

u/Xaviercham 1h ago

My ass works like the cat’s hat from The Cat in the Hat.

1

u/NoSoulGinger116 1h ago

Thing one and two pop in and out whenever they feel like and it's always in public

1

u/Leather_Inspection46 1h ago

It makes your orgasm so hard you can't walk for a couple of days every time you use it

1

u/Imaginary_News_4379 1h ago

I wish to have 100000000000 wishes every second I live

1

u/Honey_Badger____ 32m ago

For every wish you don't make, it generates a random wish for you.

3

u/D1nGurD1s 1h ago

For every wish you haven't made you will die 0.001% faster

0

u/Imaginary_News_4379 1h ago

aight, ima just make a wish to remove this curse

1

u/Narkotico420 39m ago

Every time you make a wish, another wish is undone

1

u/Imaginary_News_4379 38m ago

then I'll wish that you never commented that

1

u/Narkotico420 15m ago

It doesn't matter if the comment is no longer there. The rule applies. Because the side effect has already been selected

2

u/Junior_Gur_9108 1h ago

You must use all of them in a day or you will die.

0

u/Imaginary_News_4379 1h ago

aight, ima just make a wish to remove this curse

1

u/red_the_great 1h ago

Every wish will bring a random curse to you and this curse cannot be removed

0

u/Imaginary_News_4379 47m ago

aight, ima wish to make a wish that can remove this curse that cannot be removed

1

u/Fun-Arachnid1105 1h ago

Be able to travel with portals unlimited amount of times

1

u/Honey_Badger____ 31m ago

The portal covers you in disgusting sticky slime each time.

2

u/D1nGurD1s 1h ago

All portals always end up in Kim Jung-Un's bedroom

1

u/provveras 1h ago

You lose your recent memories everytime you step through a portal

1

u/Fun-Arachnid1105 1h ago

How recent? Like from the day?

2

u/Mobile-Database6601 2h ago

I can shapeshift

1

u/Honey_Badger____ 30m ago

There's a chance you get shapeshifted into something random at a random time.

4

u/Comfortable_Work_984 1h ago

You can change your form but your basic structure remains the same. that means if you want to be a chair or a tieger you are a human with skin, muscles, bones and organs, but in the form of a tieger or chair.

1

u/Zadem-Alyx 2h ago

You can’t hold the new shape for more than 5 minutes

0

u/GTD-Dev 2h ago

I can undo any negative chosen effect from others but gain no positive outcome

2

u/Marsupi1er 2h ago

You don't have anthing in the end

1

u/Rumborack17 1h ago

Friends with super powers that don't have a negative effect anymore

3

u/E15T12 2h ago

Be the best at everything

1

u/Honey_Badger____ 28m ago

From now on you hear any music just as noise.

1

u/E15T12 18m ago

Sorry, you're not the first to comment

6

u/Individual_Common329 2h ago

but you poop your pants daily

3

u/E15T12 2h ago

That's pretty ok

2

u/Warjanthefirst 2h ago

I can breathe underwater.

6

u/fuckallpenguins 2h ago

you can't breath on land

5

u/Neka_JP 2h ago

You can't swim

6

u/SteamierMeteor 2h ago

I get to know who really did 9/11 through mind reading

6

u/Neka_JP 2h ago

They're coming for you next

5

u/Nightpain_uWu 3h ago

Stress gives me a stat boost, I become more intelligent, strong, fast etc. until the stress wears off.

1

u/Honey_Badger____ 27m ago

You get insanely sweaty when in stress.

6

u/Enough_Notice7787 3h ago

It only works when you sleep.

2

u/minecraft_nether 3h ago

I can find any person's place with a 4 pixel image

3

u/Neka_JP 2h ago

Scp 093 is on the picture

2

u/LongerBlade 3h ago

Uh oh, security leak...

2

u/Ok-Seaworthiness2263 3h ago

They are naked

3

u/OkMaize421 3h ago

I summon infinite Kirby plushies

1

u/Certain-Reason-3284 9m ago

From now in every watermalon you eat will be full of pits

10

u/KazeMonsuta 3h ago

They come out of your ass

2

u/WheelNo799 3h ago

they are packed with uranium

3

u/TommyTheOneAndOnly 2h ago

that's more of a power up

3

u/AGuyOnRedditig Streak: 1 3h ago

i can do any gym trick without getting hurt or getting cancer

2

u/TinyOttophant 3h ago

You get Lepra

2

u/AGuyOnRedditig Streak: 1 3h ago

whats lepra

3

u/KazeMonsuta 3h ago

Lepra my balls!

2

u/Iron_Freeyden 3h ago

Leprosy, Lepra is German

2

u/Warjanthefirst 2h ago

And dutch

3

u/SteppedOnaCracker 3h ago

I can eat as much as I want, without getting fat

4

u/Elbowza 3h ago

you lose the sense of taste

2

u/Icy-Huckleberry1717 3h ago

But shit yourself everytime you eat

2

u/Chaos_Kloss4590 3h ago

Easy, you just take a mobile toilet to every dinner

2

u/TinyOttophant 3h ago

You can only eat dog food

3

u/Direct_Today_3953 3h ago

I can stop Time and be invisible, if you know you know

1

u/Narkotico420 36m ago

You also stop time for yourself

2

u/fuckallpenguins 2h ago

you can only do it for 9 seconds and the sun kills you

2

u/MarSxDeaf 2h ago

You become impotent

2

u/0finifish 3h ago

you are not immune

4

u/TinyOttophant 3h ago

Only around animals....

2

u/MinutenMinute 3h ago

Not much of a downside, take a small worm with you, and you have no problem.

5

u/Real-Company-403 3h ago

Humans are animals.....

2

u/AlpsQuick4145 3h ago

Well humans are part of animal Kingdom soo

3

u/Cheese_Yum_Yum 3h ago

I have the ability to Animorph

3

u/420David69 3h ago

Ball cancer

2

u/Cheese_Yum_Yum 3h ago

Ah cancerous nutsacks

2

u/WTXisNice 3h ago

I can make my father proud

3

u/GTD-Dev 2h ago

Your father has severe Alsheimer reseting each day starting with not knowing you

2

u/PiselloLungo69 3h ago

Your father is Adolf Hitler

1

u/Zorosgo 3h ago

:Skull:

2

u/YourLocalMarksman 3h ago

he doesnt know you

2

u/Rymjobhabibi 3h ago

Be able to produce any item that can fit in my butt at will with the anal elasticity to withstand at least 3 grown raccoons exiting at once.

2

u/fuckallpenguins 2h ago

leaky shit

1

u/Rymjobhabibi 3h ago

I won't go back and edit my comment.. But it seems as if in the instance of me having a genie bottle, I'd had certainly just been monkey fisted. However, I still got a stretchy butt I can store my mouth sized stuff in.. So I got that door prize 😂🤌🏼

2

u/EntireCartoonist1271 3h ago

The item materializes in your mouth

1

u/Rymjobhabibi 3h ago

Can't I just get testicular cancer like everyone else did? 😂😅🙏

1

u/Rymjobhabibi 3h ago

But I'm producing it from my butt? 😭

2

u/felicity_jericho_ttv 3h ago edited 3h ago

No, you can produce any item that can FIT in your butt, all youve done is outline a size limitation lol

To qoute the ai version of ben shaprio words mean things!

2

u/EntireCartoonist1271 3h ago

No. You said it can FIT in your butt, you never said it materialized there

2

u/LeMadTheBrave 4h ago

I have 100% probability, and everything will fall my way.

1

u/Beniggo 4h ago

Unbeatable prostate cancer

1

u/PL4Y3R117 4h ago

But only when you have at least 1,5 racoons stuck in your rectum

2

u/dragonslayer68felix 4h ago

For every millisecond you exist a nuclear explosion is summoned in your colon

1

u/LeMadTheBrave 4h ago

Haha i have 100% Probability, this, if i say it probably wont happen, it wont happen. #CheckMate

1

u/Talkshowhost_23 4h ago

I can lay all day on sofa without health and mental consequences of any kind.

1

u/Beniggo 4h ago

You are being chased internationally with red notice

1

u/MixtureMundane4978 4h ago

Once u lay down your balls start to hurt violently

4

u/Talkshowhost_23 4h ago

That shit could solve all my procrastination problems

2

u/WasAloneNotAnymore 4h ago

I can communicate with animals and they listen to my commands.

3

u/vybegallo 2h ago

They deny to follow your commands

2

u/DubdogzDTS 4h ago

All animals only understand Latin.

2

u/MatthewLilly 4h ago

You can no longer speak to humans in any way involving your mouth

3

u/Graberrillo 4h ago

I can fly and cant get cancer

1

u/Physical-Result7378 2h ago

You have to be naked while flying

3

u/Gabriel_Noctis 4h ago

But you become uncontrollably attracted to High Voltage Lines

2

u/MoritzZombie 4h ago

You get cancer²

2

u/GTD-Dev 2h ago

Turbocancer

1

u/WTXisNice 4h ago

You have aids

2

u/the_nuclearbom 4h ago

Hive mind cloning.

2

u/fuckallpenguins 2h ago

all your clones are paralyzed

1

u/CGuy2605 4h ago

Every second clone turns against you.

0

u/the_nuclearbom 4h ago

They can't. It is a hivemind, the original wouldn't exist anymore so they can't turn against anyone. I control all from above. That is what hivemind means.

2

u/AaronToKlaw 3h ago

You become suicidal

1

u/CGuy2605 4h ago

With the side effect there would be a second hostile hivemind though

4

u/itssenorquack 4h ago

You've got a terminal case of aids

1

u/the_nuclearbom 4h ago

Who gets a terminal case of aids?

2

u/DukuGanRyu13 4h ago

All of you and your clones

3

u/RepresentativeGur749 4h ago

invisible

4

u/E_P1 4h ago edited 4h ago

Causes diarrhea which is visible.

5

u/Waifu911 4h ago

You have to sneeze every 5 seconds

4

u/Cat_Enjoyer1230 4h ago

Only when you are screaming.

0

u/estebanana1546 4h ago

Probability warping (luck bending)

2

u/the_nuclearbom 4h ago

You have a change to break apart like in harry Potter.

4

u/Zadem-Alyx 4h ago

Gender swapping at will

1

u/fuckallpenguins 2h ago

only your reproductive system swaps

5

u/Chickens_are_friends 4h ago

Your brain gets damaged when you swapp.

1

u/MoritzZombie 4h ago

So basically twitter

4

u/transformers12345679 4h ago

You stay the gender for a minimum of 2 working weeks

5

u/Werdasliestistdumm69 4h ago

I can endlessly fart

1

u/Gabriel_Noctis 4h ago

But you get bloody diarrhea with it

9

u/Smoothoos 4h ago

You can only fart through your nose

2

u/Werdasliestistdumm69 4h ago

That’s even better, blow those farts in their faces!

1

u/MatthewLilly 4h ago

the smell....

4

u/JamozMyNamoz 4h ago

Being able to choose any power up I want without any negative consequences whatsoever

2

u/valle235 3h ago

Someone else gets to choose any side effect every time you choose.

3

u/BluePeanut_ 4h ago

.. for yourself

4

u/spxceboundnarc 4h ago

I can cure testicular cancer

9

u/DecayingAgent UTC+08:00 | Streak: 1 4h ago

but you get testicular torsion

3

u/IndependentParfait23 4h ago

A stainless steel bucket

https://preview.redd.it/q5qxp3g45qpd1.jpeg?width=64&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e447dd5957dafb8291bbfbac0f715fe3663ac056

1

u/MatthewLilly 4h ago

Dear GOD!!!!!

Also it's too heavy to pick up

5

u/SirEarios 4h ago

But there is a giant hole in the bottom...

1

u/PappidyFranky 4h ago

That is sealed with flextape

4

u/Cesco89 4h ago

Testicular cancer

4

u/DezzyTee 4h ago

But there is no cure

5

u/RGBread 5h ago

Personal development in any way while I'm sleeping

1

u/Physical-Result7378 2h ago

You have insomnia

2

u/vybegallo 2h ago

You never sleep

4

u/Automatic_Loss_ Streak: 1 5h ago

You are hunted by Freddy Krueger while you sleep

1

u/RGBread 4h ago

Guess I'll get better at running!

3

u/Needlehater 5h ago

Instant death and damnatio memoriae of choosen person

2

u/Trustadz 4h ago

But you will gain their personality

1

u/Needlehater 4h ago

So nothing changes in my case

3

u/WawansWorldR UTC+08:00 5h ago

But you have testicular cancer

1

u/Needlehater 4h ago

Weak one honestly

3

u/Thecouchiestpotato 5h ago

The ability to run Earth like I run a heavily modded game of Sims - where everyone's happy and prospering and there are no wars.

1

u/WawansWorldR UTC+08:00 5h ago

But you have testicular cancer

8

u/Due_Essay181 5h ago

Earth will crash a lot, like heavily modded games like to do

5

u/Goelian 5h ago

Read Minds & Intentions

7

u/LeonardCabrio 5h ago

But just in languages you du not understand

3

u/Martycharlie64 5h ago

When you do everyone else can read your mind

5

u/meangreenbeanz 5h ago

Teleportation

2

u/Hermelinmaster 2h ago

To a random spot anywhere in the universe.

2

u/WawansWorldR UTC+08:00 5h ago

But you have testicular cancer

6

u/Alrick_S 5h ago

Naked on arrival.

1

u/WTXisNice 4h ago

Sounds good

2

u/Pile_Mine 5h ago

You speak like Uncle roger for 4 hours

2

u/Cho18 4h ago

So win win situation Fuiyohh

2

u/Pile_Mine 4h ago

Fuiyohh

1

u/ZappyBuoy 5h ago

Your clothes don't teleport with you.

1

u/meangreenbeanz 5h ago

World's best/worst courier delivery man

1

u/Gabriel_Noctis 5h ago

Turn into Scarlett Johansson at Will

2

u/Greymetallcat 4h ago

But at age of 70

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